Week 5, Chapter 12

In this chapter, I could relate to the integration/ separation definition and examples. It made me think of when I was in a secret relationship or a relationship which not many other people knew about. I remember we had to act differently when around other people. Yet when we were alone, things were different. Sometimes acting differently towards each other in public or while around other people was hard. It caused arguments and disagreements, with both of us feeling at different times of the relationship that we were inadequate and did not like the feeling of being a "secret". It definitely messed with our emotions and couldn't handle that pressure at that time. I thought a good example of a relationship like that is the movie called "Lost and Delirious".
Though, in other relationships that I have been in, my partner and I communicated with each other directly and honestly about how our relationship would be and things worked out fine and lasted longer with no arguments. I think it all depends on how both people perceive it, and if they are willing to live a secret life. It is also like the relationship between Joe and Jess (in Bend it Like Beckham). They have a more intimate relationship with each other but no one really knows about it. Joe is Jess' coach and has to act professionally and different while in front of others. Sometimes that is hard for Jess and messes with her emotions, just like it would with anybody else. I think that communicating is the most important thing to do in this kind of relationship.