Week 6, Chapter 17

The concept that stood out most to me from this chapter was Hirokawa and Gouran's "Four Functions of Effective Decision Making" (requisite functions). They are problem analysis, goal setting, identification of alternatives and evaluation of positive and negative consequences. I enjoyed reading about their experience of searching for the "perfect candidate". It made me think of my own experiences when it came to decision making.
For me, an important decision had to be made about where I wanted to move and go to school. I had quite a few options of where I could go to school so it was hard for me because I am so indecisive and impulsive. My analysis of the problem was that I could not go to the JC anymore because I graduated and it was time for a change, and to go to a four year institution. I know I wanted to go to a large city and a well respected school. Yet I also wanted a a sense of community feeling at the school because I knew I was going to live on campus.
My goal was to of course, work towards my B.A. But I also wanted to go to a school that had a good Social Sciences department, clubs on campus, and athletics. I had about seven options of where I wanted to go. At first, my heart was set on Mills College, an all women's private school in Oakland. Even though I was totally set on wanting to go there, I identified my alternatives and kept on exploring other CSU's. I made a list of pros and cons about Mills and realized that the cons about Mills stood out a lot. Yet Mills was 40k a year.. and I was not eligible for scholarships or financial aid. Also, it was a private school. If for some reason I did not like it, it would be very had for me to transfer to a CSU. So after evaluating the positive and negative characteristics about school, I realized that a CSU was for me and SJSU was a great school that could give me what I wanted. Even though it didn't seem appealing at first because my attention was focused somewhere else, I realized that it was the best school for me to go to.

Week 5, Chapter 13

Watzlawick labels a family as a system. I think his idea makes a lot of sense. A family works together to bring out the best of each other, to be there for support and stay together. I liked Watzalawick's description of a family being like a "mobile suspended from a ceiling... Tug any string, and the force sends a shock wave throughout the whole network." (p. 170) I relate to this very well. I am the youngest of 6 children. There is a 19 year age difference between my eldest brother and I. When I was born, and when I was a child, my older brothers and sisters were in there teens. My eldest brother died in a motorcycle accident when he was 17, my mom's first husband died in a car accident, my elder sister ran away and my other two brothers and sisters got into drugs. I was born and raised in their time of grieving and pain from the loss of our loved ones. I was young, so I didn't necessarily understand why my older brothers and sisters would act the way they did, I was just told that they were making "bad choices". It seemed like everyone's actions effected all of us. If my brother or sister were in trouble, I would see if effect my parents in a negative way, which would effect me in a negative way. It was exactly like the mobile effect, and almost like a domino reaction.
When I became a teenager, I got into a lot of trouble too. To me, I thought it was normal because I grew up with it. When I was negative and doing bad things, it effected my parents. they were angry and more stressed out. It was like a never ending fuse. Yet when I became happier and stopped getting into as much trouble, I saw my parents become more happier and we could actually have a civil coversation without any arguing. I used to think that I would never be able to talk to my parents again after what we went through when I was a teenager, but now I am really grateful that we can. My father told me last Christmas that "seeing me happy makes the whole household a lot happier".

Week 5, Chapter 12

In this chapter, I could relate to the integration/ separation definition and examples. It made me think of when I was in a secret relationship or a relationship which not many other people knew about. I remember we had to act differently when around other people. Yet when we were alone, things were different. Sometimes acting differently towards each other in public or while around other people was hard. It caused arguments and disagreements, with both of us feeling at different times of the relationship that we were inadequate and did not like the feeling of being a "secret". It definitely messed with our emotions and couldn't handle that pressure at that time. I thought a good example of a relationship like that is the movie called "Lost and Delirious".
Though, in other relationships that I have been in, my partner and I communicated with each other directly and honestly about how our relationship would be and things worked out fine and lasted longer with no arguments. I think it all depends on how both people perceive it, and if they are willing to live a secret life. It is also like the relationship between Joe and Jess (in Bend it Like Beckham). They have a more intimate relationship with each other but no one really knows about it. Joe is Jess' coach and has to act professionally and different while in front of others. Sometimes that is hard for Jess and messes with her emotions, just like it would with anybody else. I think that communicating is the most important thing to do in this kind of relationship.

Week 5, Chapter 11

Communication is very important when it comes to maintaining a positive relationship. I thought this chapter's whole "You've Got Mail" theme made it very easy and enjoyable to read. I have seen the movie, so I feel like I could totally relate to the chapter. It was nice to have excerpts throughout the chapter, which made it more interesting to read and better to understand CMC communication. Computer mediated communication is used everywhere now. Internet chatting and instant messaging has skyrocketed since the new millennium. Other things that are popular and relate to CMC are the online social networks like Myspace and Facebook. I have counts on both and definitely understand how hard it is to keep up with all of your "friends", sending messages and writing comments on their page. Plus, I've noticed a lot of people like to deal with expressing their anger, issues to someone by email. Writing them an email to tell them off. I think that's because they are behind a computer and not face to face with that person, so they feel free to say whatever they want and not be fearful of the consequence then and there. Overall, CMC communication is like all other communication. Just because it is through a computer, doesn't mean that you can skip certain parts that make a healthy and positive relationship.

Week 4 Blog, Chapter 10

Whenever we meet people, wherever it may be, we always have to go through a stage of getting to know them. I think it is easier to break the ice with people who you are not professional with, but when it comes to meeting new people at your place of work, it is always difficult to bond at first. I think it is harder because you have to act professionally and don't want to cross the boundaries with other co-workers or supervisors, because it can cost you your job. When I read about Berger's "uncertainty reduction theory", I thought of my own experiences when he told the story about meeting Heather and her companion Hannah for the first time. I recently went through the same experience with my job. I transferred stores when I moved to San Jose and had to meet everyone. I was working for the same company but I came to the new store as a higher level and was nervous about meeting all of the associates there. I was especially nervous about meeting the managers and I hoped that I could make a good impression on him. This is still going on now since I've only worked there for less than a month, I'm not in my niche yet so I am always paranoid if I am keeping it professional or not, because I definitely don't want my job to be at risk.

Week 4 Blog, Chapter 9 #2

"Interpersonal closeness proceeds in a gradual and orderly fashion from superficial to intimate levels of exchange, motivated by current and projected future outcomes. Lasting intimacy requires continual and mutual vulnerability through breadth and depth of self-disclosure." (p. 120)
I can definitely relate to this quote in Chapter 9 because I have learned that relationships take time and effort to maintain. It takes continual effort to maintain a long lasting relationship. When I read this, I thought of a computer game that I have played before. It is called "The Sims". It is a game where you build your own house, start a family and make networks and friends. It is basically like a game about life. In the game, you can build relationships with friends (or your lover), in order to keep your friend and lover, you have to make time for them and converse with them or hang out with them. It gets quite difficult because it will get to a point where you have 20+ friends and your partner to maintain a relationship with. If you don't hang out with one or talk to one of them, your relationship score will go down, which punishes you in the long run because you can't move forward in the game without a certain amount of friends and high scores. In everyday life, you have to maintain these same relationships and skills. It takes work and a continuous effort yet I would think it would get very difficult and overwhelming if you have a job in Public Relations!

Week 4, Chapter 9

As soon as I started to read chapter 9, I felt like I could already to relate to what Altman and Taylor were writing about. I could relate to Pete, the new freshman who is closed off in someways to the new people who he meets. Although I am a Junior, I transferred to SJSU this year and am going through similar traits. When I first met my roommates, I found it hard to tell them all about myself and what was going on in my life. I was going through a tough relationship breakup and trying to ind my niche here in San Jose. I did not know how people would judge me or think of me. For the first two weeks of school, I just wanted to go home. I was very popular at home, everyone knew me and I had a lot of friends. Coming here was a huge transition to me and I felt overwhelmed in some ways.
In the chapter, I saw the diagram of the mutilayered onion. I thought that was such a brilliant idea. Although it was labeled as "Pete's Personality Structure", I felt like I could relate to it in everyway, like it was almost My Personality Structure. I am like Pete when it comes to not wanting to share certain things with people because of the fear or being judged or emotionally blackmailed.

Week 2, Chapter 5 #2

While reading Chapter 5, I could relate to the term and definition of the generalized other (p. 65) The definition of generalized other is "the composite mental image a person has of his or her self based on community expectations and responses". When I read that, I thought of all of the instances where I had used my generalized other. A memory that stuck to me was an instance when I went from becoming a member of a group to a leader. I was involved as a member in a youth/teen group for two years prior. When a new leadership term came up, I became the co-facilitator of the group and eventually a board member (which I still am today). When I first went on leadership, I felt so proud and mature (even though I probably was not very mature at that time). I had an image of myself being a role model to the others because that was what was expected of the youth community. I portrayed the image of "the co-facilitator" onto myself.

Doing that actually helped me grown into a young adult. Because of the responsibility I had, I partied less and set a more healthier example for the members who looked up to me. Now, even as the youngest board member of the organization, I still have the mental image of what others will look and expect from me as. I see what my obligations are and put them to work in my own actions. Sometimes it is hard because I still have friends who are members of the organization, so I make sure to still act my position without making it seem like I am superior. Most of the board members are past their 40's so it is also hard for me sometimes to think like them and communicate like them considering I am 20. Yet I put myself in the position I was in as a member thinking of them as board members and remembering how I thought of them. This helps me remind myself of what others think and expect of me.

Week 2 Chapter 5 #1

I'm sure other people can relate to this entry. It is about the story of the father and son who got hit by a train and the surgeon who could not operate on the son. (pg. 61). The story made me think a lot. I was trying to make sense of the story and the relationship between the surgeon and the boy. I kept on thinking, how could the boy be the surgeons child when the father just died? After thinking and not reading ahead, I was still confused and thought that the surgeon might be an in-law or step parent. I could have been right but the idea of the surgeon being his mom never crossed my mind. I read that and felt like an idiot, I mean who doesn't remember about moms?
This story and what I had to think about really woke me up and I started to think of how certain names and languages can have this effect to make you think that it is only one gender. In this exercise, I did not think the surgeon to be female, even though I am a female myself. Maybe it is because of labels or stereotypes in today's society? Yet by reading this story, I definitely gained more awareness to how stereotypes can effect you unconsciously even if you never consciously stereotype.

Chapter 4 Blog

After reading about the many traditions of communication, there were two traditions that I thought I could give some good feedback about. The first was the Socio-Cultural tradition. When I read about it, my mind went off thinking about how interesting it is that there are so many different ways to say one thing. One thing in our language can mean nothing or something totally different in another language. This puts a big barrier in communication with other languages. I wonder, why can't we all just speak one universal language? I know diversity is great, but if there could be a way we could all have a universal language, I think that would be totally awesome (and we could still speak our native language to feel special).
Another tradition that caught my interest was the Phenomenological tradition. I liked the ideas of congruence, unconditional positive regard and empathic understanding. I agree with this way of communication and think that it is a good trait and value to hold. It really helps when you can take a step back and think what your part is in a situation. To see and look at where the other person is coming from, instead of judging what they just said, I think, is a great way of communicating. I use this way of communicating in everyday life. I try not to judge, nor be someone who I am not. If everyone did that, and gave the effort to understand someone else, I think life would be a lot easier. =)